dairy vs. diary: there is a difference

My sisters and I grew up on a pig farm. We spent our summer evenings opening the windows to feel the evening breeze, then slamming them closed when the smell of hogs invaded the house, then throwing them open again later when the air seemed to clear, then shutting them again when the "smell of money" took over. Again. 

To help their children get a small taste (whiff?) of this way of life, my sisters bundled up their children and schlepped them over to Missouri for their first wintery visit to the dairy.

Not, the older ones quickly learned, to be confused with diary. 

Despite the chilly conditions {unlike Washington, D.C., we do not consider the low 20s a cause for shutting down roads, businesses, school, travel, and life in general}, the kiddos got to see all sorts of fun stuff. 

Like cats. 

{That's actually an oxymoron.}

They conquered their fear of animals larger than themselves {"Neena, can you hold me, pleeeeeeeeease?"} and may have even been caught cracking a smile.

But you had to look quick.

They oohed and ahhhhed over the calves, asked why they wore earrings, and learned that the calves basically have little cribs to sleep and stay safe in just like human babies!

They were heartened, however, to hear that they didn't have to swap their blankies out with straw. 

They have their limits, you know. 

They giggled at the slobbery nibbles at their jackets and wanted to know how many they could take home. 

{Sorry, kids. Some day you'll learn to catch your moms in juuuuust the right mood first.} 

Then it was back outside to see the much bigger mama cows. 

The seven-year-old's reaction?

"Whoa."

They commented on the cows' markings, on where they go potty, on what they eat, and what their moooos sounded like. 

They have priorities, people. 

Then it was time for one last photo op before . . . 

their faces froze off. 

So leaving Uncle Chris to brave the cold, we all headed back home to lunch, naps, visions of Gator rides, and the oft-reiterated question, "When can we go back?"