"call the calves" contest

It doesn't matter how big or how little a child is, how much they love animals or if they're terrified of them. Every kiddo that visits the dairy, somewhere between the calves and the mamas, asks the question: "Do the cows have names?"

They do. 

It's just that their name is actually a number. 

And sometimes those numbers show up in church bulletins and cause quite a bit of confusion for farmers who can't remember if they're supposed to be looking up a hymn or remembering how many pounds of milk that cow gives.

#farmerproblems

But every now and then a pig or a cow comes along, with special markings or a unique personality, one that--if you'll pardon the expression--stands out from the herd, just begging to be named. 

This month, we have four . . . and they're all gray. In a farm filled with black and white Holsteins, these guys and gals get noticed. And it's not long before a little boy or girl will spot them and ask the inevitable question: "What're their names?"

That's why we need your help.

Living on a border state, we have strong Northern allegiances and sturdy Southern sympathies that all converge in one place. 

It's a region filled with sweet tea and casseroles, biscuits and gravy and German Lutherans. So when the guys at the dairy get started naming calves, well, stand back, boys. 

First up: Stonewall.

Unless you missed American History 101, let's move on.

Then there's . . . the General. 

He started out as General Sterling Price, but the Iowa contingent rallied, and when the skirmish was over, the two sides had come to an agreement. The calf will be called . . . the General. 

{Pause before you say his name. Respect, people.}

And here's where we need your help. This calf needs a name.

And no. We are not calling him . . . the Admiral. Or the Lieutenant. Or preferably anything starting with "the."

This sweet girl needs a name too. C'mon. Just look at her pink nose. It's begging to be named. 

So here's the deal: North or south, east or west, we're asking for your recommendations for names for the last two calves, taking them back to the guys at the dairy, and then ducking and running while they vote on which calf goes through life with which name.

Need an incentive to get creative? If the guys pick the name you offered, we'll send you an 8 x 10 cow print of your very own, guaranteed to bring a bit of farm right into your kitchen . . . or living room . . . or your father-in-law's office if you you haven't gotten him a Christmas present yet. 

(If he's still talking about that run-in he had with a bull on his uncle's farm in eighth grade, however, feel free to reconsider.)

And while you're in the mood, trot right on over to Midwest Dairy to sign up for the Dairy Makes Sense monthly newsletter email list. You'll get all sorts of good stuff, from recipes to facts about farming to meeting the farmers who raise the food you eat.

Plus, you have a chance to win a $250 grocery store gift card when you sign up for the newsletter by Nov. 30, 2014. 

Do you know what you could buy with $250? A whole fridge full of milk! A freezer full of ice cream! Mounds and mounds of cheese! Yogurt for years! 

Ahem. One might think I didn't eat lunch today. And one might be right. 

So tonight, when you're gathered around the supper table, and the kids are tired of talking about science experiments gone bad and failed math quizzes, ask them what they'd name couple of gray calves and then ask them why . . . and then leave the names in the comments below. 

We know we're asking a lot. But if it helps . . . 

 . . . The General thanks you.