awkward teenage chickens

Remember those cute, yellow, fluffy, little balls of chickens that we picked up at the post office just a couple of weeks ago? They've now successfully entered their awkward teenage phase of life where their legs are too long, their feathers aren't full and they want to fly but can't really figure out how.

I turned them outside for the first time yesterday, and they hated it. Inside the coop, they have water, shade, feed and calm. 

Outside, they have water, feed, worms, bugs, sunshine . . . and cows staring at the them, puppies eyeing them, birds flying over them. Sounds! Noises! Nature! I thought they were going to pass out just thinking about it. 

The heifers trotted right in from the pasture and lined up to take a peek at these gangly, noisy birds. 

They were also largely unimpressed and wandered away moments later, muttering to themselves, "You'd think they'd be old enough to move out of their little huddle in the corner of the pen any time now. Have they not heard the phrase, 'Spread your ding dang wings and fly!'?"

Once the heifers left, the birds stayed outside roughly 36 seconds before they all took off for their coop again like fresh air, grass and earth worms aren't the best thing ever. Who do these chickens thing they are anyway? 

My father-in-law has compared this kind of behavior to camping, even when it comes to animals. The first day you're outside, it seems pretty awesome. You're cooking food over the fire, sleeping in a new place, soaking in the air and sunshine. 

By day two, you're kind of missing your bed, you're thinking that food that doesn't taste like smoke might be nice and you're wondering when it's going to quit raining. 

By day three, you're totally over it. You want a hot shower, your couch and normal people food. Or as Jim Gaffigan says, "Who's a happy camper? The guy leaving the campsite!"

That would be the life story of our chickens. When it comes to their coop versus nature, they were at day three before day one even happened. 

Or to put it mildly: Not. Happy. Campers. 

For more on camping, being eaten by bears and sleeping in a bag on the ground, click below. 

It really has nothing to do with chickens, but who doesn't need a Thursday laugh?